Journal- Final two sessions

Journal- End Game

We followed up the lead she gave us and invaded the warehouse lair of the fiendish Carlott. It was clearly a trap, but we had no choice but to spring it. Six archers appeared above us and began to rain arrows down on us. I was able to get two quick kills right away, but then they began to target me more seriously making it more difficult for me to aim. Ulfred charged the door in an attempt to break it down, but failed and was struck down by an arrow. Volkrad took an arrow to the head and collapsed unconscious as well. Luckily Furdok and Konrad managed to get up to where the snipers were and began to engage them, allowing me to finish off the last couple of archers. Carlott then appeared, but fled when she saw her thugs were being cut down. I pursued her, but she got away. Still, her cult was smashed and posters of her face are now plastered all about town, so I’m sure her capture is only a matter of time.

Luckily, neither Volrad nor Ulfred were seriously injured; I was able to use my healing arts on them and they recovered satisfactorily. We then went home to rest from a night of conflict. The next day we went to see Maximillian Saer for the first time and got some relatively useful information, most pertinent of which was that he had had an affair with Klara Roban. We spoke to her as well, but she was completely intransigent and went so far as to imply that we were chaotic ourselves.

We went back to our inn, and after a little while the thief we had tracked down earlier, Solveig Thudrin, came to talk to us. She offered us the information that the same person who had hired her had also hired a man she knew named Andreas who also hung out at the Cockpit. She was very nice and gave us this information for free. Perhaps she felt guilty about robbing us? It’s hard to tell. You think you have these Men figured out, and they go and do something completely unexpected.

So we went to talk to Andreas who told us that the man who had hired him had gone by the name of Master Helsig, and had an office at the Empire House! Andreas had hauled several crates across town for him, through a side door there at the Empire House and to an office inside. He was payed well and never knew what was inside. We decided to investigate this lead next.

Knowing Lord Frederick knows EVERYONE who is anyone is ALtdorf, we went to see him yet again in order to secure entrance to the Empire House. This proved to be very easy, and we followed the directions that Andreas had given us to the side door he had gone through and thence to the office.

Except it wasn’t an office, it was a broom closet. Some of us began to have a sneaking suspicion that we’d been had. I was not sure myself, but Ulfred suggested we look for a secret door within the closet. To be honest, I thought that idea was silly…I mean, it seemed unreasonable to assume that there was some hidden chamber within the seat of Altdorf’s law enforcement center. And yet, once he made the suggestion, I rather halfheartedly stepped in to the closet and glanced around for the tell-tale sign of a hidden door.

To my surprise, there was one there, clear as day. To me anyway, the others did not seem to see it. I don’t know why, but I seem to be better than the Men and the dwarf at finding things concealed. Perhaps it comes of my life in the forest, where everything you need to survive or which is trying to kill you is usually well-hidden. You must learn to see the inobvious or you won’t see much of anything for long.

Once I pointed it out though, Ulfred saw it right away though it wasn’t until I pulled it open that the others could really see it. Behind it was a set of stone stairs leading down into a large chamber festooned with blasphemous symbols and a perfidious altar. While the others went to explore it for clues, I stood watch at the foot of the stairs in case someone stumbled upon us. Which, someone did.

Or rather, I should say, something. A demon appeared in a burst of flame at the top of the stairs and flew shrieking down the steps at me. I shouted to Volkrad to run, but he apparently did not see what I had seen and stood confused, only turning at the last minute as the fiend swooped at him. Luckily he ducked its claw and managed to stumble out of its way as Furdok and Konrad courageously charged it head on. Poor Lord Frederick, however, was not prepared for his first encounter face to face with Chaos, and fled as far as he could get to the other side of the room. Ulfred ran with him, determined to make sure Lord Frederick was safe and unharmed before he returned to bravely face the menace.

Now veteran daemonslayers, we five used every means at our disposal to quickly dispatch the creature, though several were dearly wounded in the process. Still, when the battle was over we stood victorious. I quickly began to see to the various injuries.

While I was doing so, that foul Bright Mage Wolfgang Shennect crept down the stairs and came upon us, tossing flaming death at Furdok, Konrad, and Ulfred! I knew he was evil! I knew it! Somehow, the three managed to survive the onslaught, and I began to shower Wolfgang with arrows while they gathered their wits about them long enough to charge him to prevent him from casting anymore of his flaming balls. His magic was powerful, however, and most of our blows seemed to do little or no damage to him. Soon, he was attempting to end Furdok’s life with a magical flaming blade he summoned.

With every spell he cast, Lord Fredrick was forming a crafty idea in his head. Finally he rushed over to the altar and smashed a small idol into pieces which he had seen there. Immediately, all of Wolfgang’s spells ended, and without them he was easily dispatched to his deserved reward. Apparently, the Lord had noticed that every time Wolfgang cast, the idol’s eyes would glow, and had rightly determined it to somehow be the source of his power. We congratulated him on his first victory over the forces of evil!

Flush with this achievement, he offered us the use of his manor house to rest and recuperate in for the remainder of our stay in Altdorf, which we gladly accepted. The next day Johann Shmidt came to see him. Looking back on what I have written before, I see that I neglected to mention him. We met him on a previous visit to Lord Frederick’s, and found him to be adventuresome but somewhat shallow. At first when I heard his name I thought he was the man we had met at the Three Feathers, but he was not. Apparently there are two Johann Shmidts!

Anyway, he was looking for action, and so we had invited him along with us but had, on that particular day, failed to find anyone who wanted to kill us (somehow). So he had left us rather in a huff. On this day, after the Lord regaled him with the tale of our various exploits the previous days, he was once again eager to join us. He mentioned that he had known adventurers before (adventurers? Is that really what we are? What a strange idea…I did not set out to have an adventure. I never have. Adventure, if that is indeed what you would call this non-stop attempt by the tides of Chaos to slay us, has just kind of happened to me. Us. I think most of us would rather be safe at home drinking ale or reading a tome. But alas, destiny seems to have other plans for us.) which made me perhaps wonder if he did not know the person we were seeking who had the ritual which could destroy the dagger.

By great luck, he did! Finally we managed to track down at least one of the people who had spent time traveling with the Kin from Ulthuan we had heard about. He told us he knew a Gabrielle Marsner, an Amethyst magister, who had indeed been part of such a group not too long past. We went to speak with her, and she told us that she did indeed have such a ritual and was willing to help us destroy the dagger.

The only obstacle which remained was Gottri Hammerfist, the insane dwarf (to be clear, I mean MORE insane than the average dwarf) witch hunter. We had to get him out of the way, and the only thing that seemed reasonable was to have him committed to someplace where Shallya could ease his mind of it’s burdens. However, that would require Klara.

She was firmly in Gottri’s court, but after giving it some thought I decided to try a desperate gamble in order to sway her to our point of view. I had to go see her alone, but for some reason Furdok demanded I give him 20 gold crowns for the privilege. See what I mean about their sanity? Well, I rather understood where he was coming from actually which really worries me. He was trying to make a point about trust…mainly, he did not trust me to make the right call with Klara. So I guess he was willing to trust me with the task if I was willing to trust him with my money. Gold means a lot to them, so I guess it was a big deal that I handed it over. I really don’t care about it too much, honestly, but in any case I was confident I could see this thing through successfully.

I went to see her, and I’m afraid I will have to keep the details of our conversation to myself for now, just in case someone reads this. Suffice it to say that she and I shared some things which made her see things in a new light. Once I told her that Gottri was claiming the entire Light College was a nest of cultists, she finally agreed he could use some “rest”, and agreed to set things in motion.

Unfortunately, Lady Baern stepped right in the way, preventing it from going through. After some desperate discussion amongst ourselves, we convinced Lord Frederick that the only way to get her to sway on this would be to give her a medal to get her the recognition she believed she deserved. We went to see her and informed her, obliquely, that if she were to cease to be an obstacle in Gottri’s remission to a Shallyan asylum, she would be awarded a medal in a public ceremony at the Gorgon Club along with several others who had gloriously thwarted the forces of chaos. She ate it up, and soon had agreed to allow Gottri to get some “rest”.

Finally, we got the dagger from Messner and delivered it and the things needed for the ritual to Gabrielle in the old cemetery. It was a long ritual, and we brought along Johann in case the dagger tried to bring help to prevent it’s destruction. Luckily, the only thing it could manage was another daemon, this one seemingly less difficult to slay than the one we had destroyed in Middenheim. Johann was no use, however, as he fled screaming from it at first sight. We killed it of course, but I can’t help noting that the ritual Gabrielle cast to destroy the dagger had nearly the exact same result, perceptually anyway, as the ritual which Liebnitz used to release the demon from the skull. We killed that demon, but were told the essence still survived and was loose in the world. Is the dagger’s essence truly destroyed, or has that escaped as well?

In any case, it seems certain that the third artifact lies in the path of our destiny as well. The questions are where is it, what is it, and who has it? Though I long to get out of this city, I fear we may be here for a while as those questions are answered. Meanwhile, I worry about the cultists which escaped us. Somebody burned down Gottri’s house, and the thing which disturbs me is that it happened after Wolfgang’s death. We had told him Gottri was standing in the way of our obtaining the dagger, and I would have expected a fiend like him to try to kill Gottri to get him out of the way, and fire would certainly be his modus operandi. So is there another corrupt Bright Mage out there who did not realize his Master had been killed?

You can’t trust anyone who works so closely with the winds of Aqshy, and now Volkrad has become one of them. I worry a great deal about this. I will need to keep an eye on him, for I fear that he may be led astray by the passions of fire in the same way Wolfgang was. I hope that he can contain the destructive urge which is such an integral part of the Lore of Fire.

Yoohoo, I'll make you famous!

Journal—Breakthroughs!

The new day started like any other. At first, it appeared to me that it would be another pointless round of talking to people who didn’t really have any idea what we were on about, or worse yet were secretly plotting to kill us. Actually, some of them may be, it’s hard to tell. However, Konrad, Volkrad and I went off to go interview some people in order to get some opinions on the character of Magister Messner, who has been greatly maligned by the witch hunting dwarf and his friends. Ulfred and Furdok went to go talk to the dwarf again for some reason, and then I believe back to the temple of Sigmar’s records, where Furdok apparently finally came to the realization that he has no idea how to read.

Our day was much much more fruitful. We talked to Lord Frederick again, who gave the idea of Messner being aligned with chaos very little credence, and then recommended we speak to Theodora about it as well as a Jade Magister named Guillaume. He was of the opinion that they could put our fears about Messner to rest, and in this he was correct.

Not only did Theodora, the ex-witch hunter, soundly and definitively denounce the notion of Messner being chaotic, she also finally gave us the story on what Lady Bairn did when she “single handedly” brought down a Chaos cult. It was not impressive, and basically involved an accident combined with fortuitous coincidence. Still, we decided to make sure, and proceeded to consult Magister Guillaume.

He was also very helpful. He told us that he believed it unlikely in the extreme that the White College would put a wizard in charge of the safe keeping of chaotic artifacts without thoroughly vetting him for any signs of chaotic leanings. He suggested that, should we come clean to Messner about our intentions vis a vis the dagger, he would probably be more forthcoming about it’s whereabouts, and in this he was correct. Furthermore, he informed us that he had a ritual which could cleanse the dagger. The downside was that the ritual required an intelligent being to willingly sacrifice their life in order to accomplish it. Still, it was something.

After that we went to see Messner again, where Volkrad spoke to him and told him our true reasons for seeking the dagger and what was at stake. After some time, we seemed to convince him of our sincerity and he informed us that, yes indeed, the dagger was within the Order’s vaults. However, he was not willing to give it to us unless we could show him proof that we had a ritual that would actually destroy it, and that we were willing to go through with. Also, we had to somehow get Gottri off his back. He was quite aware of the dwarf’s insane hatred for him, and told us that if he found out that he was releasing chaos artifacts from the vaults he would not hesitate in the slightest to have Messner burned at the stake. He needs us to get Gottri out of the way before he can do anything (no, not kill him).

Returning to the Burning Chair, we informed our comrades of our success, and then shortly afterwards were summoned by messenger to a meeting at the Burning Table where we were confronted by Wolfgang, the Bright mage we had accompanied on the road here and who we suspected of having arranged the robbery of our rooms at this very Inn.

He threatened us with calling the witch hunters on us, saying he suspected us of being involved with chaos, but was willing to let us defend our innocence to him. Which we did, but there were several things wrong with this scenario. First, he had absolutely no evidence of any of us cavorting with the Ruinous Powers, since we in fact do not, and had no such damning evidence in hand when he had our rooms tossed. Therefore it seems odd he would still accuse us. Furthermore, he pretended no knowledge of the burglary, even though we gave him every chance to come clean about it without actually telling him we knew he had done it. We mentioned that Volkrad’s grimoire had gone missing, and had he been a true friend he would have brought it back to us or at the very least told us where it was. Instead he feigned ignorance. If he had good intentions when investigating us, I believe he would have come clean about the theft.

Finally, once we explained what we were doing, he seemed so quickly to accept our innocence that it seems unlikely he ever doubted it to begin with. He offered up his own ritual to destroy the dagger, one which seemed infinitely easier than the one Guillame told us of. If it is real, it’s a boon, but what if he just wants to get us to bring him the dagger so he can steal it, or worse yet release the demon from within? We told him we would meet him later to discuss it.

It was shortly after that our snitch from the Three Beards came and informed us that the lady we were looking for was currently there! This day just kept getting better! We rushed over there and, sure enough, located her in the crowd.

She saw us too, however, and quickly made her way outside, with us hot on her trail. She led us on a merry chase through the slums of Altdorf, finally losing us in an alley in a rough area on one of the river islands. I was able to trail her to a “plaza” where we lost any sign of her. Among the buildings surrounding the plaza were two warehouses. In my experience with cultists, it seems to me they tend to hide in secret basements hidden in warehouses or taverns, and so I decided to investigate the two buildings, choosing one at random in which to begin.

There was nothing at all inside, but when we emerged we found that Furdok was being shot at. He had stayed outside, watching the bridge which led to the next island, and was being hit with arrows. I located the woman doing the shooting and put an arrow of my own in her arm, at which she fled.

We followed her, suspecting that we may be being led into a trap. We were right of course. We finally cornered her in a small cattle market, where we were jumped by three mutants and a man using dark, sinister magic. I took to the rooftop to make sure they could not escape out the back door, if there was any. It turned out there was not, but it was a great position from which to attack our attackers from. Unfortunately, I could not see the woman with the bow from where I was at, and she wounded Volkrad quite dearly. I could see the warlock from where I was, but the angle was such that I could not get a shot at him. He, however, was free to cast his evil magics upon my companions. Finally he came out into the open in order to use one of his fiendish spells upon Konrad at close range, but before I could do anything about it the woman broke cover and began to shoot at me. One of her arrows struck me a glancing blow on my side, but I put a couple more of my quarrels into her and she collapsed, unable to continue. Volkrad was able to take down the warlock with one of his mighty dart spells, and we had won the day. At first, we thought the warlock had succeeded in killing Konrad, but it turned out he was still breathing and I was able to save him with some quick application of some of the medicinals I carry with me.

I then turned to the archer, who lay dying on the floor of the market, her blood staining the hay red. I offered the use of some of the same remedies I had used on Konrad if she would tell us where the woman who had hired her was hiding. The archer informed me of the locale, and to my not-so-great surprise, it was the second warehouse, the one I had not gotten around to searching. At that point I was in something of a dilemma. I had suggested to her I would heal her, but I had not actually promised her. She was detestable and in league with Chaos, so I was quite hesitant to follow through and actually help her. Still, if the information she gave us was true, it would be only just to help her (though turn her straight over to the witch hunters afterwards, which would render the aid moot). Thankfully she ended my quandary by dying before I completely made up my mind.

They Call Me Bruce

"They Call Me Bruce is the tale of a small town set upon by demons after a group of teen-agers unwittingly unleash an ancient curse. Campbell, playing himself, is kidnapped off the set of a B horror movie and, despite his protestations that he's just an actor, is forced to play the role of his heroic movie character in order to save the town."

Journal: 2 sessions worth

Journal- The search begins

It has been a few days since I have been able to find time to write in my journal, and there have been many events and people rushing by in that short span. I usually try to write at night while my companions are sleeping when I have plenty of spare time, but that has proved to be impossible of late. Every time I settle in for the night, some man or dwarf (usually dwarf, oddly enough) comes rushing in to tell me we’ve been robbed or attacked by chaos demons. They make fun of me for sleeping in the stable with Stormweather, but so far nobody has made off with my belongings or tried to suck out my vital fluids. I tried to tell them that cities are bad news, but they don’t listen. If I had my druthers, we’d be camping in the forest outside of Altdorf, but I think the best I can do is convince them to stay in a different inn where hopefully nobody will know where we are.

But perhaps I am getting ahead of myself. As I said, we have been in ALtdorf for several days now, and accomplished much and nothing at all. As for the dagger we seek, no sign have we uncovered. Every well we visit in hopes of gaining some indication of it’s whereabouts proves dry. The first day we visited the Celestial College where Volkrad paid his license fee and spoke to a Magister to help point us in the right direction. Oddly, I can’t recall exactly what the college looked like, although the windows and mirrors were very shiny and clean. The Magister, Dieter Klemperer, indicated to us that the College of Light stored many dangerous artifacts of Chaos in a secret vault and we should talk to them. He also gave us the names of a couple of other highly placed people who may know people who may know something.

We split up for a bit, sending Volkrad to speak to the White Magister while the rest of us hobnobbed with the “important people” in town. Oddly, the noble Lord took a liking to us and provided us with several leads. What followed was a series of visitations to various dignitaries interspersed with attempts upon our lives by various threats both natural and unnatural. In order to lessen confusion, I will summarize the results of our conversations in a simple fashion before proceeding to the parts where someone attempts to do us harm.

The results of our investigations were thus:

The White Wizard claimed no knowledge of the dagger.

Apparently there was a group of people in Altdorf some indeterminable amount of time in the past who had fought cults here and knew some ritual which was capable of destroying chaos artifacts. Of them we can find little trace except the note that they had a High Elf with them who has since returned to Ulthuan (good riddance).

The Lady Bairn apparently single handedly defeated a chaos cult in her youth, though no details about this victory are available. She is intolerably snobbish and snooty which leads me to believe she may have been friends with the High Elf though she denies this.

A dwarven witch hunter named Gottri claims that all the white wizards are chaotic and should not be trusted. This may mean the magister Volkrad spoke to was lying about not having the dagger. However the dwarf was also, let me see if I can remember how Konrad put it, “completely off his nut”.

There are no records at either the temple of Ulric or Sigmar with any mention whatsoever of the priest who wrote the letter which first brought the dagger to our attention. However, we do have the name of a priestess of Sigmar that we have yet to speak to who is well connected to witch hunters in this city.

There are also a few other people we have leads on but have yet to speak to.

Now, the first night of our investigations ended with us in the inn’s bar, having dinner. A messenger boy delivered a letter to us, which I then opened there at the table. A daemon appeared out of thin air and immediately set about trying separate Konrad from his limbs. Luckily it was not a big daemon and proved to be little trouble for our battle tested group. I myself declined to fight the thing, turning instead to pursue and question the boy who delivered the tainted letter.

After some questions and bribes, it became apparent to us that he was not complicit in the attack but had been hired by an unknown woman of singular description to deliver said note. It was near the 3 Beards tavern, and so we resolved to investigate and see if we could find this woman there and get her to explain to us why she was sending us missives filled with chaos spawn. That night, however, she eluded our grasp.

The next night was the robbery. We, or I should more properly say they, returned to the room to find it ransacked, though only Volkrad’s hard won grimoire had been stolen. It was at that time where we began a rather informal policy of working in shifts, whereby Furdok and Konrad were on night duty, Volkrad and Ulfred on days, and somehow I was on call for both daily and nightly business. Apparently the men equate “doesn’t need to sleep” with “doesn’t need to rest, or take a well-deserved break, or even just take five minutes to clear one’s head and try to forget how bad this stupid city smells all the time”.

In any case I admit that it was my decision to track down the robbers that very night rather than letting the trail go cold. Questioning the innkeeper revealed that a disturbance had occurred in the bar that evening, a row started by a bald dwarf and a huge hulking Norscan. Even given the difficulties of tracking someone through the filthy but well traveled streets of Altdorf, trailing this pair proved remarkably easy. We ended up at a seedy riverside pub where Furdok and Konrad questioned the two, and discovered the thief was a tall woman with a scar named Solveig Thudrin. At first I thought she may have been the same woman who sent us the demon-laden epistle, but the descriptions did not match. She was to be found at a barbaric arena known as the Cockpit, but the place was closed by the time we got there. However an employee there, when properly motivated, provided us with information about Solveig which enabled us to find her the next evening.

In the meantime, we tried to find this other woman as well, but she proved far more difficult to track down. We ended up hiring a young man whose job was to sit in the 3 Beards and drink all day and tell us if anyone fitting the description of the woman showed up there.

It was actually on our way from the 3 Beards to the Cockpit that the four thugs set upon Ulfred, Volkrad, and I. Ulfred and I caught sight of them as they lunged from the alleyway, and quickly drew our blades to defend ourselves. Ulfred, brave as ever, delivered a telling blow to the first thug which immediately set him to flight. I also delivered a sword blow to one, but he was braver than his companion and returned with a nasty wound of his own to my side. Volkrad was caught flatfooted, but his luck was with him as his assailant stumbled over some trash on the way out of the alley and was unable to strike him.

After that we made short work of them, especially Ulfred who decapitated one with a single mighty swing of his halberd. Volkrad was wounded, but managed to cast a spell of slumber upon his attacker which then allowed us to question him and find out that it was the same woman who had sent us the daemongram who had hired them to bring her our heads. Luckily, our wounds were not serious and I was able to patch them up quickly.

Solveig we found at the Cockpit as promised, and after talking to her we determined that she was not hired by the woman who was quickly becoming our nemesis, but by a man in disguise calling himself “Dieter”. She took us to where she had met with him, and to our surprise Volkrad recognized the burnt out ruins as being on or near the grounds of the Bright College. Solveig informed us that she had been hired to search our rooms for anything bearing suspicious arcane or chaotic natures and deliver them here to this place. The book was the only thing she found which had possibly matched that description, and as it happened we actually located the grimoire discarded carelessly among the debris. Also nearby was a scrap of orange-yellow robe, a sign that it had in fact been a Bright Magister who had done this.

Putting two and two together, I deduced that the culprit must have been Wolfgang, the wizard we had met on the road from Middenheim to Altdorf. Volkrad thinks perhaps it was a frame job, and this cannot be discounted as it was not entirely difficult to track down the evidence. However, I am not convinced of this. To me it seems more like skullduggery perpetrated by someone unfamiliar with the general methods of skullduggery, which is to say done poorly and amateurly. To be honest, part of the reason I think this is because I probably would have made the same mistakes.

Reasonably sure of the perpetrator, I now must wonder about his motives. Was he suspicious of us as being allied with chaos, given the way we seemed to attract beastmen on our travels here? Or is he allied with chaos himself and looking to advance his own agenda somehow? This remains to be seen.

I shall close this chapter with an account of an event which I was not myself a witness to, the attack which has led me to suggest a change of location. Apparently the rest of them were set upon in the night by some kind of ghostly vampiric entity. The bizarre descriptions I received varied tremendously but the general accounts indicate a floating cloud of screaming faces with blood sucking tentacles protrubing from it. However, the odd thing about this creature was that it was completely invisible and ethereal unless viewed in a mirror. It had nearly killed Ulfred and Volkrad, and driven Konrad to brink of death or madness, before it’s nature was discovered and they were able to dispatch it. Only by viewing it in the mirror and using that perspective to attack it were they able to save themselves from certain doom.

What would I have done had they all been killed? I don’t know for sure. All alone, I doubt I could stay in this stinking urban morass. Maybe I could scrounge together enough money from their belongings to hire some people to continue the search, but how could I trust them? I would rather go back to Middenheim. It’s still a city, but a better and less crowded place than this one.

Toilet Seats and Game Theory

I found this article at Science Creative Quarterly, and though that it was of general interest to the group, given that we are gamers...

A GAME THEORETIC APPROACH TO THE TOILET SEAT PROBLEM
By Richard Harter

The toilet seat problem has been the subject of much controversey. In this paper we consider a simplified model of the toilet seat problem. We shall show that for this model there is an inherent conflict of interest which can be resolved by a equity solution.

Consider a bathroom with one omnipurpose toilet (also known as a WC) which is used for two toilet operations which we shall designate as #1 and #2. The toilet has an attachment which we shall refer to as the seat (but see remark 1 below) which may be in either of two positions which we shall designate as up and down.

Toilet operations are performed by members of the human species (see remark 2 below) who fall into two categories, popularly designated as male and female. For convenience we shall use the name John to refer to the typical male and Marsha to refer to the typical female.

The performance of toilet operations by John and Marsha differ in a number of respects. The costs of these operations are peculiar to the respective sexes and are fixed except with respect to the position of the toilet seat. In particular:

Marsha performs toilet operations #1 and #2 with the seat in the down position. John performs toilet operation #1 with the seat in the up position and toilet operation #2 with the seat in the down position. If the seat is in the wrong position before performing the toilet operation the position must be changed at an average cost C. Optionally the position may be changed after performing the toilet operation, also at an average cost C. (Changing the position of the seat during the performance of a toilet operation is beyond the scope of this note and is definitely not recommended.)

Consider the scenario where John and Marsha each use a separate toilet. It should be obvious to the most casual observer that each minimizes the seat position transfer cost by not altering the seat position after performing a toilet operation.

For Marsha the seat position transfer cost is 0 since all operations are performed with the seat in the down position. For John the cost is greater than 0 since seat position transfers must be performed.

Let p be the probability that John will perform a #1 operation vs a #2 operation. Assume that John optimizes his seat position transfer cost (see remark 3 below.) Then it is easy to determine that John’s average cost of seat position transfer per toilet opeation is

B = 2p(1-p)C

where B is the bachelor cost of toilet seat position transfers per toilet operation.

Now let us consider the scenario where John and Marsha cohabit and both use the same toilet. In our analysis we shall assume that John and Marsha perform toilet operations with the same frequency (see remark 4 below) and that the order in which they perform them is random. They discover to their mutual displeasure that their cohabitation adversely alters the toilet seat position transfer cost function for each of them. What is more there is an inherent conflict of interest. Attempts to resolve the problem typically revolve around two strategies which we shall designate as J and M

Strategy J
Each person retains the default strategy that they used before cohabiting. This strategy is proposed by John with the argument “Why does it matter if the seat is up or down?”. As we see below this strategy benefits John.

Strategy M
Each person leaves the seat down. This strategy is proposed by Marsha with the argument “It ought to be down.” As we see below this strategy benefits Marsha.

Consequences of strategy J:
Under strategy J the toilet seat is is in the up position with probability p/2. The respective average cost of toilet seat transfer operations for John and Marsha are:

John: p(3/2-p)C
Marsha: pC/2

The incremental costs (difference between pre and post habitation costs) are:

John: ( p - 1/2)pC
Marsha: pC/2
Total: (p^2)C

John’s incremental cost would actually be negative if p were less than 1/2. This is not the case; p>1/2. Note that Marsha’s incremental cost is greater than John’s for p<1. Marsha objects.

Consequences of strategy M:
In strategy M the seat is always left down. When John performs operation #1 he lifts the seat before the operation and lowers it after the operation. The respective average cost of toilet seat transfer operations is:

John: 2pC
Marsha: 0

The incremental costs are:

John: 2(p^2)C
Marsha: 0
Total: 2(p^2)C

In these strategy Marsha bears no cost; all of the incremental costs are borne by John. John objects. Note also that the combined incremental cost of strategy M is greater than that of strategy J.

It is notable that John and Marsha each advocates a strategy that benefits them. This is predictable under game theory. However the conflict over strategies has a cost M in marital discord that is greater than the cumulative cost of toilet seat transfers. It behooves John and Marsha, therefore, to adopt a strategy that minimizes M.

This is not simple. A common reaction is to advance sundry arguments to justify adopting strategy M or J. All such arguments are suspect because they are self serving (and often accompanied with the “If you loved me” ploy.) A sound strategy is one that is equitable and is seen to be equitable. In this regard there are three candidate criteria:

(1) Minimize the joint total cost
(2) Equalize the respective total costs
(3) Equalize the respective incremental costs

The argument for (1) is that John and Marsha are now as one and it is the joint costs and benefits of the union that should be considered. This principle is not universally accepted. It is readily seen that (see remark 5) that the joint total cost is optimized by strategy J which has already been seen to be suspect.

Criterion (2) seems plausible. It requires, however, that Marsha put the seat in the up position after performing a toilet operation some percentage of the time. No instance of this behaviour has ever been observed in recorded history; ergo this criterion can be ruled out. (But see remark 6.)

Criterion (3) argues that the mututal increased cost of toilet seat operations should be shared equitably, i.e., neither party should bear a disproportionate share of the costs of cohabitation. A short calculation reveals that criterion (3) can be achieved if John leaves the seat up after performing toilet operation #1 with a frequency

f = (2p-1)/p

Since the value of p is seldom precisely measured and is variable in any event it suffices to use an approximate value of f. If we assume that p=2/3 then f=1/2. This suggests the following convenient rule of thumb:

In the morning John leaves the seat up after performing #1.
In the evening he puts it down.

This rule may not be precise but it is simple and approximately equitable; moreover the use of a definite rule sets expectations. The seat is put down in the evening to avoid the notorious “middle of the night surprise”.

I expect that this analysis should settle the toilet seat controversey for once and for all - if John and Marsha are mathematicians.

* * *
Remark 1: The toilet has an additional attachment called the toilet seat lid which can only be down if the toilet seat is down. When the lid is down the toilet is (or should be) non-functional for toilet operations. Some persons maintain the toilet seat lid in the down position when the toilet is not use. For these persons the analysis in this note is moot. Such persons pay a fixed cost in seat movement for all toilet operations.

Remark 2: Toilets are also used by domestic animals as a convenient source of drinking water unless the lid is down. (See remark 1)

Remark 3: Experimental evidence suggests that almost all bachelors optimize the seat transfer cost, the exception being those who put the seat up after performing a #2 operation.

Remark 4: Folklore has it that Marsha performs more toilet operations than John, hypothetically because of a smaller bladder. John, however, drinks more beer. We shall not discuss his prostate problem.

Remark 5: “Readily seen” in this context means “It looks obvious but I don’t know how to prove it; you figure it out.”

Remark 6: The toilet lid solution is to put the toilet lid down after all toilet operations. This solution imposes a cost of 2C on each party and is accordingly more expensive. It is, however, more esthetic. It also eliminates the “doggy drinking” problem

Journey Journal

Journal- Altdorf

We made it to Altdorf, but there was some rough going there for a while. No more misadventures at wayside inns, but we did have one day where we absolutely plagued by Beastmen. I hate Beastmen.

I guess naively, we rode along the road with little care, when two Beastmen jumped out and ambushed us. We dispatched them with a bit of trouble, and decided to proceed more cautiously. I rode out ahead and tried to scout any more ambushes. The prospect of getting attacked by more of the foul beasts had me shaken up, and I failed to check thoroughly the likely areas. Three more Beastmen got the jump on us, and I was wounded by an arrow. We won, but it was hard fought. Shortly before, we ran into some Roadwardens escorting some pilgrims to Altdorf, and they helped us turn the fight.

I rode out again, this time spotting a roadblock up ahead. I alerted the rest and they stopped the caravan before we got into trouble. I then scouted on foot through the forest, to see what or who was manning the block. More Beastmen. Foul things! I reported back and suggested we ambush the ambushers. They thought my plan was pretty good, but it was really just a variation on the standard Glade Guard ambush number 3. They hid beside the road while I walked forward to use the superior range of my bow to lure them out from behind the barrier.

I strode forward until I was just about 70 yards or so away from them. I could hear them murmuring in their foul language as I stopped and judged the distance. I then took out three or four arrows and stuck them point first into the dirt for easy access. I heard the beasts begin to snicker. I licked my finger and held it up in order to judge the windage. The snickers turned into chuckles. I drew out my bow, carefully knocked an arrow, and drew back the string. The whole bunch of them just crouched down a bit behind their barrier and began out and out laughing. After aiming at the one I wanted, I slowly raised the front of the bow in order to give the arrow the proper arc to get it over the barrier and into the creature’s hide. I took a deep breath, the sound of their guffaws carrying across the distance, and released the arrow. There was a satisfying thump followed by a shriek of pain and an immediate ceasement of laughter.

Shouting angrily in their dark tongue, three Beastmen clambered over the makeshift barrier, waving various weapons menacingly. The one I had hit still had an arrow sticking out of him, so I sent another one to join it. Still, he did not fall but rushed onwards with his brethren. I pulled yet another shaft from the ground beside me, and again pierced the beast with it…he still did not falter! They drew closer and I grew nervous, sending my next shot wide. By that time I needed to turn and run in order to lead them into our ambush, something I was more than happy to do in the face of their savage onrush!

When they passed into the kill zone, it took little time to dispatch them. Ulfred waded in with his halberd, however, when ranged attacks would have been more in line with my plan. He is so brave it is going to get him killed. He was heavily wounded from the last battle, and only his armor saved one of his legs from being demolished by a Beastman’s blow. Luckily one of the Roadwardens and Furdok intervened and cut down the creature before it could press it’s advantage.

Furdok has actually gotten the hang of using his hammer, I think. The problem was that he was always trying to reach too high and hit his target’s upper body or head. As short as he is, the leverage behind his blows was weak and rarely did much damage. Recently he began aiming for the legs and knees of his foes, which has produced a vastly better result, often crushing their legs and causing them to fall helpless to the ground where they can be easily dispatched. Hopefully he continues with this tactic.

Anyway, after this band of Beastmen was eliminated, I again rode forward to check for ambushes. Again I failed. This time I spotted an area which seemed an incredibly obvious ambush spot, but try as I could I could see no lurkers in the brush. Still, we decided on caution and arranged it so the pilgrims would be left back safely guarded by the two roadwardens while we took a cart through the area to draw out any attackers. I went through the woods in order to perhaps surprise any bushwackers from behind. I found a nice deadfall to hide behind, but in the darkness the Beastmen must have blended in perfectly with their surroundings. I saw nothing, and even after arrows began to fall around the cart, could not spot the attackers. Furdok overturned the cart trying to turn it around, and the beasts charged out of the woods to murder my fellows.

It was at this time that one of the pilgrims strode forward to the battle zone and revealed himself as a Pyromancer by casting a spell which lit up the area and revealed the eight wretched beasts intent on murdering us. With his flames wreaking havoc on our attackers, it was actually relatively easy to turn the tables on the creatures and kill them to the last one.

We reached an inn shortly after that, and had no more Beastman troubles for the remainder of our journey. However, I do wonder about this “Wolfgang” the wizard we met. Why was he incognito? Why did he not help us in our previous struggles? Why was he traveling with a group of peasants and refugees? Volkrad spoke to him a bit, but the rest of us kept our distance. Imperials as a rule are not fond of wizards, and dwarves are extremely mistrustful of magic in nearly all it’s forms. Magic is part of our lives in Athel Loren, but pyromancy…no, I do not like such destructive magic. Fire is dangerous, and used unwisely or without proper caution can cause immense damage to the forest and it’s denizens. I am grateful he helped us but…Aqshy is a wind I believe should not be trafficked with.

More Journal of Aeryn

It’s been several weeks since the last time I wrote in this journal. I have been far too busy with other things to really take the time to keep up with it; although I have done plenty of reading and writing to keep my practice up, it has mostly been official documents I have had to fill out and books on carpentry I borrowed from Volkrad’s library.

The city allowed me to purchase the warehouse with the cult hideout underneath for a mere gold coin. They did this out of gratitude and the condition that I would fix it up. There are a lot of damaged buildings in this city, and the effort to rebuild is slow at best. The first thing I did was clean out the underground area of anything that remotely smelled of Chaos. Then I consulted my carpentry books and took stock of the repair situation.

Cosmetically, it needed a lot of patchwork done. This I thought I could do on my own. However, after looking at the supports, it became clear that they were weak and could lead to a partial collapse if they were not shored up. Sad to say, this task may have been beyond me. It would be risky for me to attempt this untrained, because if I failed the results could be disastrous. I needed help. Ulfred was busy with his new job, as was Konrad and Volkrad. Besides which, it is always said that Dwarves are the best builders around. Certainly we don’t usually build anything, it’s just a matter of convincing the trees to take the right shape…which sure wasn’t going to work here.

I only know one Dwarf, and he doesn’t seem to care much for me. I bit the arrowhead anyway and went and found him lounging around the Dwarf quarter. I took a deep breath, and I asked Furdok if he would help me repair and construct the building, fully expecting him to tell me to go away and leave him alone. Surprisingly he agreed, and though he scowled and huffed, he seemed eager enough to get started.

I’m not sure exactly why he agreed. It could be because I offered him the underground area to do with as he saw fit, and indeed his eyes lit up a little when I mentioned it. However, I think it had more to do with his nature. The prospect of delving into a project which would use his hands and skills and challenge him directly, I believe, was his main motivating factor. It actually gave me some interesting insight into Dwarves as I watched him work. He arrived early every day, and worked hard and late into the evening, hardly even stopping to complain or eat dinner. He didn’t even mind that I took a few trips with Konrad when he went on patrol. Actually, I did a lot of the work at night while he was asleep, but I think he actually had rather I left all of the tough jobs to him. He didn’t think I would do it “properly”, and he was probably right. I kind of have a new found fondness for him. Yes, he is surly and boastful, violent, and rude; and yes he refuses to call me by my name (he just calls me “the Elf”, and so I call him “the Dwarf”), but I honestly don’t think he does so out of malice. It’s just the way they are, and if you can see through the gruff exterior there are traits to be admired in them.

Anyway, recently Volkrad came to see us. It seems that the nonsense that Liebnitz had babbled about the demon being released may not have been entirely nonsense after all. In any case, Volkrad seems to have stumbled across evidence that there are two other artifacts containing the essence of the Beast, and that one of them is in Altdorf right this instant, surely up to no good. Apparently if the demon is freed from the other two artifacts, many bad things will happen. He wanted to know if we would accompany him to Altdorf.

Truth be told, I was a little excited about getting everyone back together again. I mean, last time was awful, but the rush of such adventuresome undertakings seems to be a bit addictive. We all agreed to go with him to stop whatever nefarious plot was afoot, and set off the next day to Altdorf.

We stopped for the night at a roadside Inn called the Three Feathers. This proved to be a mistake. A local Gravin and her staff were there for the evening as well, plus a whole host of shady characters coming and going. Personally, I tried to ignore all the various doings of Men. I have found that the more you get involved in their affairs, the worse things get. Apparently though, another Dwarven trait is curiosity. Furdok spent the better part of the evening putting his not inconsiderable nose into other people’s business.

There was a brawl involving a drunken Noble searching the Inn for his wife’s lover (I believe, anyway) which began with Furdok hitting him in the head with his hammer (Dwarves really like to hit stuff, too) and ended with Konrad using his pistol to settle down the combatants.

Eventually, this got us noticed by some Lawyer working for the Gravin, who (as it was explained to me, though I must have missed the part where he said it) offered us 250 Karls to kill some Chaos Cultists who were blackmailing him. We weren’t sure whether to believe him or not, and did not want to just murder people without evidence of wrongdoing, not being assassins. Unfortunately this indecisiveness ended up getting the poor lawyer killed, as he was apparently telling the truth and was killed by the cultists. I was upset by this, and followed their trail to the river’s edge. I needed to get across to continue my pursuit, and so I returned to the Inn to talk to the boatmen we had met earlier.

While I was gone, apparently the rest of them had discovered a wanted man being smuggled in a coffin and apprehended him. That was the good part. The bad part was that the Gravin’s champion had been murdered with Ulfred’s dagger and Ulfred was accused of the deed. Somehow we all ended up under lock and key for this, even though I wasn’t even in the building when this occurred! The justice of Men is poor indeed.

We soon discovered that our arrest was a clever ruse by the Gravin to lure the murderer out by pretending to make Ulfred her champion in place of the murdered Boris. Somehow the champion was essential to her legal defense against the man who she believed was behind this plot. I never did quite understand that part…her Lawyer was dead but she was unconcerned about that, but somehow an uneducated, dumb, drunken warrior was key to her winning the legal dispute? I could maybe understand putting Ulfred in his place, he’s fairly smart and has participated in one trial that we won, but still. Men are incomprehensible in some ways.

Kinda dumb too. The assassin tried the exact same tactic with Ulfred, sneaking into his room intending to place someone else’s dagger in his back. Didn’t he imagine that would be just a little too coincidental? We all crowded into Ulfred’s room, waiting to see if the murderer would appear.

The Gravin allowed us each one weapon while we waited in ambush. As the quarters were close, I was forced to choose my sword though I mislike using it. I’ve only ever used it against some skeletons and the barman who tried to knock my head in with a cudgel. Ulfred of course chose his halberd, which he is quite skilled with. Volkrad probably needs no weapons, but he is not bad with a quarterstaff. Interestingly, Konrad forewent his axe for his pistol. He seems to have a great affinity for weapons which make loud booms. Finally, Furdok chose his hammer, because he really likes to thump people with it.

For that reason, I alerted him when the assassin quietly edged his way into the room, figuring that he’d like to thump him on the noggin and then we could capture him. Unfortunately, Dwarves are great at thumping people but not as good at actually hurting them…the man staggered a bit but quickly entered a fighting stance. I figured that I would try to wound him in the leg so he’d be easy prey for someone else to knock him out or otherwise restrain him, so I slashed at his thigh with my sword.

I guess I don’t know my own strength though. I killed him with one stroke. Volkrad said I hit his artery. I didn’t mean to, but for some reason I seem to be a better swordsman than I ever imagined. We were always taught that fighting hand to hand is what Kithband Warriors do when the only option left is to go down fighting. I don’t like it and I don’t want to do it again, but I suppose I may have to. I think I am going to have Ulfred teach me a little of what he knows about anatomy so that I won’t be accidentally killing people any more.

Well, the Gravin seemed satisfied with our efforts anyway, and released us. The rest of the folks got a little rest before we headed out after dawn. Sadly, I never got to pursue the Lawyer’s killers.

Faulkenstein Wrap Up

Lets talk advancement!
Here is your chance to improve your character. Take a few minutes and think about what your character did during the game. What skills did your character use most and what skills did you use where your difficulty was often higher then your skill level.
Poor skills are hard to improve. You would have to do something spectacular in order to overcome your disadvantage.
Ave is easiest to advance and then the difficulty increases the higher your skill is.
For the next session of this game I would also like each of you to do some advancment planning. Describe what your character would like to improve upon and we can set some goal for your character.

I think the card system worked fairly well so I will be keeping it for next time.

Warhammer next

Matt, do I have something weird for you.. *chuckle* No, it isn't Realms of Sorcery

Thursday

I have Thursday off, and would like to maybe do some gaming during the day before our weekly game. Anyone else have the day off and want to join?

Board Game Wednesday

Looks like board gaming on Wednesday. How about we do it at Critical Hit games?

Everybody sound off if they are coming, and what games you want to play. I vote for "Game of Thrones."

Critical Hits Games

As Tim & Shawn already know we have a new game shop in Coralville! Critical Hits games is located behind Peking Buffet. It has lots of game tables out front and a back room for private gaming as well. Just think Gaming, Beer, & Buffet all within stumbling distance of each other. They are already starting a Blood Bowl League, Magic tournaments, 40K, and Yu Gi Oh!

Rest of December?

What is everyone's schedule like for the rest of December? What Thursday's will people need to miss?

We should look at doing this in the future...

So, I was poking about on the Unknown Armies site when I saw that John Tynes and Kennith Hite were involved in this new project called Behemoth3
which includes something called Otherworld Excursions

This is described as a hosted tour around the city involved, with dinner and a game GM'ed by the excursion leader.

The one for Ken Hite (who was the writer of Suppressed Transmission, and a writer on the new GURPS Horror is in Chicago which would be close enough for us to go and spend a day.
It is a little pricey ($175/person) but would be a cool little excursion.

Hit the sites, see what you think...

Castle Fudgeenstein

I have decided to go with the "Fudge" card system for Castle Faulkenstein. The system will work as follows.

Everyone will bring their own deck of standard unmodified(Shawn) 52 card poker deck.

We will stick with the skill system from the book. (suits and levels will remain the same)

During an action the player will flip the top 4 cards from his deck your base level will be your skill level.

In suit=plus
Off suit same color= minus
Off suit Off color = blank
Joker counts as +2 and is considered In suit

Levels off success will remain from the book as follows
Fumble = 3 below challenged drop. in other words if you need a excellent result an average or below would be a fumble.
failure= -1 to -2
Standard success = tie or +1 result
Full success = +2 to +3 result
High success = +4 result

Normans, Saxons, and Celts, oh my!

The website for the new version of Britannia is up.

Check it out.

Castle Falkenstien

Doing some thinking about Castle Falkenstien. First off, it's a really fun world. "Steampunk" is something I've always wanted to play in.

Let's face it: The card mechanics are terrible. Even if we did a "patch" with the card values, it still puts the game in a context where it pays to ask for all kinds of little draws in order to build a good hand for the important stuff. I know that Brian has stated that he wants to stay away from dice because dice are shunned in the background. I want to urge Brian to forget about that. It's not important, and would not be nearly as distracting to the telling of the story as the current card mechanics are.

Suggestions:

I'm speaking for Nigel here, but I'm pretty sure he could "FUDGE" it without a lot of difficulty. I've seen a lot of Nigel's work with FUDGE, and he can easily build a combat system that is as complex or simple as you want it to be. Not only that, but the current stats and character creation would slip easily into FUDGE. Of course I've just volunteered Nigel for some work here, so I suppose he should really weigh in here first. :)

Otherwise, I could "Savage" it fairly easily also. I think FUDGE is a better fit, but SW could do a decent job, and we are all pretty familiar with it.

There are other solutions I can think of, but none of them could be easily implimented in the middle of story as easily as those listed above.

Comments? Questions? Stock tips?

Reminder

The only person who has given me his order for Shawn is Tim...if anyone else wants stuff (Nigel? Shawn? Matt?) you should let me know ASAP or tell me you don't want anything at all, so that way I can call Shawn Monday and let him know. I'm personally getting Realms of Sorcery, some Champs books, and some Vampire cards.

Beware the Fury

The Fury of Dracula Website is up and running. The Rulebook is posted. Enjoy.

Gaming Schedule

Sorry Matt about you not getting the game off message for last Thursday.
This week gaming will be on for Monday Nov 14.
The following week is Thanksgiving weekend. I was not sure if everyone will be able to make it that week or not. Let me know what plans are. We will make an official decision at gaming

A little wrap up

So...assuming you'll have some down time in Middenheim, what are your characters planning on doing?

I have a general idea for most of you, but I'd love it if y'all left a comment here saying what you were up to.

The only person really bound to anything would be young Volkrad, who has (temporarily, anyway) become an indentured servant of the Collegium Theologica.

I'm not saying you'll have a chance to complete all of your plans, depending on what they are, but I'd like to know your respective intentions.

Final Entry

We wer not shur what to do. I thot we shud go to the tempull of Ulric rite away but we desided to go back to the pallas first. This ment we had to sneek past the watch again and bribe the gards to let us back in. Hummins seem to be easily bribed with munny. Anyway, it all ended up just like I suspected in the first plase. We went to the tempull of Ulric. But first we had to talk to Ranalf and also the preests of Sigmar, AND our old frend the captin of the gards. He gave us a new warant and sent us out by ourselves wich seemed a little odd but he said it would take too long for him to gather up the wach.
It shur didn’t take Liebnits very long to gather up the watch. We ran into a patrol on our way to the temple and they started shooting at us on site! One of the poor mercenaries who joined us was shot strate throu the head and killed. Before they could kill the rest of us, the humans managed to convince the gards we were not in fact assassins sent to kill Liebnits but fully authorized watchmen. And Ulfrad bullied the commander to give us a watchman to replace the mercenary they had killed. He was not real happy about that.
Then wen we got to the temple there were two more watch detachments who wanted to kill us, but we also talked them out of it before they did so. But the temple door was barred so we had to find another way in. Which fell to me, because nobody else seems to know basic things like climbing stuff and being sneaky. We tied up our blankets to make a rope (maybe we should invest in some real rope?) and I climbed up to a window and sneaked in and helped everybody else up. Then we went down the hall and entered the main chamber of the temple.
Two templars were garding the entry, and five more were surrounding Liebnitz. He was over towards the middle of the room by the “sacred flame”. I was having a very bad day, I can say. I think the fact that I had not rested or eaten in nearly two days was beginning to take its toll on me because my aim was off horribly, and even when I did hit I struck only glancing blows. Those templars were tuff, with their plate armor. The two of them held off our entire group while Liebnitz took a knife and cut the throats of all the other Templars! He was doing this for a good reason thou, because the blood of the sacrifices seemed to be making the skull more powerful. All the blood flowed into the skull no matter where in the room the blood spilled.
Finally we managed to kill the two gards at the cost of our other mercenary and some dearly wounded comrades. It was too late to stop Liebnitz, however. A horrible demon of Khorne burst forth, mortally wounding Liebnitz and swooping to attack us. First Conrad, then Ulrad went down, their flesh shredded and bleeding to death. The dwarf faced the demon alone, fending off its attacks but unable to strike a telling blow in return. I fired my final arrow and…barely scratched it. Ranalf was dragging the dying bodies of my comrades past me, and I…I don’t know. I just acted without thinking. Foolishly I dropped my bow and charged the demon with my sword. It grinned evilly as my blow glanced off it’s hideous hide. I realized that I was a stupid, suicidal elf and that it was certainly going to tear out my guts with it’s next blow.
Fortunately for me, that blow never came. After trying and failing many times to get his spell just right, Volkrad finally cast his magic arrow spell perfectly. It tore into the demon and shattered its earthly form, casting it back to the pit of chaos from wich it sprung. I breathed a sih of relief.
Liebnitz gave some maniacal speech before he died about other artifacts and summoning a big evil of some kind, but it sounded crazy to me. The guy is dead, he wont be summoning anything with any more artifacts. He got what he deserved.
Now I am writing this many days later. The city officials were very grateful for our help, but they didn’t want us telling anyone about it to avoid a panic. Which is fine with me, I doubt anyone would buy it anyway. Volkrad has had more time to work with me on my writing and I really think it’s coming along nicely. Humans spell stuff strangely though. I mean, they use all these extra letters and don’t always spell it how it sounds. Oh well.
We did get to go shopping. The city even gave us a few things in gratitude. I bought myself a new set of very nice clothing. The old set I burned. After the sewers and being showered in blood by the evil fountain, not to mention that of the murderous bartender, I was not going to wear those clothes any more. The stains and smell just would not come all the way out.
Ulfrad and Conrad both got jobs working for the Graf, or at least his law enforcement. Ulfrad is now officially a watchman, and Conrad is training to become a Road Warden. Volkrad has his money to get his license, but he has to work at the Collegium Library for a while to pay off the debt he has incurred for a certain grimoire they have lent him. I have no idea what the dwarf is planning to do. I suppose he’ll go back to his people or something.
Me, I don’t know what to do. I guess I have to stick around Conrad for a while, at least until he pays me back the money I lent him to buy his pistols. It was actually quite a lot of money, at least that’s what I am told. I don’t really care that much about it, but Ulfrad insisted that it was important that all debts be settled. I guess I will need it if I stick around the Empire. I just can’t bring myself to think about going home. I want to, but…
So, I’ll hang around here for a while. I’ll see Volkrad and Ulfrad occasionally, since they will be here as well. Conrad will probably have to go out and patrol the roads sometimes, and maybe I will go with him. After all, if he gets killed he can’t pay me back, right? Other than that…who knows what will be in store for me, now that it looks like my new friends will go their separate ways?

Journal of impending doom

So much happind its almost hard for me to put it down in one entree. We had no tim to rest that hole day. We went in to the sellar and shur enuff there was a kaos tempull hidden in a seekrit plase underneath. There was a cupple of mewtants garding it, but thay wer not to much trubble. The reel surprise was that we found a prizzener down there! He was held in a cage but we cudn’t find the kee so I went to look for it upstares. I didn’t find it but I did find a weerd room that was upside down and I also finded a box full of gold coyns. Wich is good cuz hummins make you give them munney for almost everything. You cant have enuff of the stuff.
We had to brake the prizzener out of the cage, but it was fine. He saw the hole combat with the wich hunter aganst the cultists. He wood make a fine witnes, so we took him to the tempull of sigmar. But the trial had alreddy started! We had to go to the trial rite away, and it was hard becuz they were blocking all the entrees. The dorf tride to talk his way in but nobuddy like dorfs so he faled. But then konrad talked his way in becuz people like konrad. But there was a huge crowd and it was verry hard to get too the front were the trial was. Sumbuddy even tride to steel Ulfrads purse, and blame it on me! But I caut the person befor the hummins coud blame me and putt me on trial too.
Even when we got to the front, we cudnt get thru with our witnes, so I had to throw a rok at the preest to get his atenshun. But I missed and hit another person hu didn’t no us, and he got mad and tride to get me in trubble with the gard. But we convinsed him to ask the hi preest about us, and even tho he didn’t beeleeve me, the hi preest sad yes he did no us. So we tolled him about the witness and he was shur that he coud get the wich hunter off with the evidence.
He was verry smart and did a grate job at the trial! He was gonna get the hunter off for shur. But bad evil Leebnits pulled out the Icon that had been stolen by the skavin, and showed it to have a mark of kaos on the bak! We wer like, NO WAY! He must totally be in leeg with the skavin! There was almost a riot, and all of us had to be taken to the pallas for saftee. We thot we wood at leest get a good nites sleep and sum food, but it was not to be. Rannalf came to us that nite and brot us the chest with the skul in it, and sed we shoud take it to the professer to lern how to destroy it. He clamed to be on our side, not Leebnits. But we had to sneek to the colledge, becuz there was a cerfew. I helpt all the noisy peepull to make it there fine, and we found the gard we new, and he let us in. But when we found the professer and opened the chest, the skul wasnt in it. It was our witnesses hed!!! That meens that Leebnits still has the skul and he is going to do verry bad things with it!

Free Game

Just letting everyone know that White Wolf has made their World of Darkness core rulebook available as a free download. I think it's a good rule set, and I'd be happy to bore you to death telling you why if you ask! :)

You can get it here.

Medieval Economy

Since bringing up the question of Income and Costs last night, I started thinking more about how to solve the dilemma. Then I figured, why not check into the real world "equivalent" of the Warhammer economy and see if I can make some comparisons? As it turned out, this was pretty easy to do as I found a web page where someone had already compiled a list of goods and services as well as some wage scales for the medieval western european economy. Even better, the prices can be EXACTLY matched up, as a Pound was equal to 20 shillings, and a shilling was equal to 12 pence, which is the same as the Warhammer Crown-Shilling-Penny conversion.
As I had suspected, the income levels were not NEARLY as out of whack as the price levels. Here is a partial list of what I found:


Real World ... Warhammer Price

Warhorse: up to 80 Pounds... 300-500 GC
High Grade Riding Horse: 10 Pounds... 80 GC (for average level horse)
Draft Horse: 10-20 Shillings ...25+ GC
Cow: 10 shillings... 10 GC
Ox: 13 shillings 1 pence ...30 GC!
Cottage: 2 Pounds... 270 GC!!!
House with Courtyard: 90 Pounds... 2400-21,600 GC. Gasp.
Full mail suit: 5 Pounds ...150 GC
Complete set of knight's armor: 16 Pounds, 6s, 8p... 400 GC
Cheap sword: 6 shillings ...5 GC
PAIR of flintlock pistols: 2 pounds, 5 shillings... 400 GC
Flintlock carbine (firearm): 1 pound, 2 shillings... 300 GC
Ironbound cart: 4 shillings... 50 GC

Now, as to wages...

Man-at-arms, squire (mercenary): 1 shillings/day... 17p/day (about 1.4 shillings)
Laborer: 2 pounds/year ...9 GC/year
Master Craftsman: 3-6 pence/day ...20p/day
Baron (lesser noble): 200-500+ Pounds/year... 250-500 GC/year
Earl (greater noble?): 400-11,000 Pounds/year... 1000+ GC/year

As you can see, the wage scale is closer between RL and WH than the price scale is. The basic peasant-level income is a little less then a third of the warhammer world income level, but the prices are anywhere from 10-100+ TIMES their real world equivalent. And the noble income levels are actually pretty close together.
I don't know what Matt might want to do about this discrepancy, but an easy fix might be just to drop a zero off of every price. I could also print out the full list I have and using it as a guide, Matt could reprice everything according to a guesstimated scale of his own devising. I would also be willing to volunteer to do this, as I think I can figure out a way to scale the various tables in the OWA to make them seem more realistic.
The fact that the Hochland Long Rifle costs 450 GC is particularly outrageous to me, as it is supposed to be a hunter's weapon but no hunter would ever see that much money in his LIFETIME. That's what really got me thinking about this, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the economy of the Old World seemed busted. Especially since it's supposed to be a post-war economy, and historically speaking weapons and other war material have been particularly cheap and readily available in the years directly following a major conflict.

Journal, Continued

So me and dorf goes bak insid too tel everbuddy bowt the toodoo. I figger with al the pannik I mite be in trubble frum hummins, so we deside I wil sta and gard the prizner wile they goes and find owt wats hapening. So they goes, and I wate. I duno zackly wat hapin wile they gon, but latter in prizin they tel me they tride to sav a litel gurl frum a mob. A litel mew tant gurl. Did I menchun they tel me in PRIZIN!!!??? I got rested cose the dorf wuz mad I wusnt rested with them. See the citi gard rested them fore spirin with kayos, wich they wusnt butt anewa they thot so. butt then Leebnits the hi preest and sum nites cam cross them and sed they wood tak cussody. So wut do dorf do? He leeds them rite to or nu SEEKRIT LARE we sed we wood not tel nobuddy bowt. So then they rest me too and tak us all too sells unner the tempull of ullrik and leev us. Leebnits sa: U hav owtlivved yor yusfullness! He gonta kil us, and cuz dorf cant stand that I wood hav livved, he mad shur I was gonta di too. I nu dorfs hayted kin, butt not that much! I cud hav rescewed them, butt I wuz beehin bars. I deesided the dorf wud not git me killed! So I cam up with a plan too excape bi using Volkrad’s majick.
Fore wons, the abillitee of dorfs too piss peepull off cam in handy! The plan worked…sort of. We got the gard down too or sell, butt faled to lur him clos enuf fore Volkrad too tuch and putt him too sleep. He allmos wakked awa, butt then dorf wuz his yooshuall self and sed sumthin too relly piss the gard off. So the gard cam ovver and grabed dorf’s hed and slammed it aganst the sell barrs. Wen he did that, Volkrad used his majick to putt the gard sleep bi tuching his hand. And dorf wuz not hert cuz dorfs have rilly hard heds. I reeched thru and grabed kis and unlokked door. Lukky not enuf tim had past fore them too do sumthing with or stuff and it wuz stil in the gard room so we got it and left.
We went too the tempull of Sigmar wer ther wuz a crowd of peepull otside wantin to hang the wichhunters. We went in thru bak. We tokked to the preest and figgered that Leebnits is tring to deestoi the church of Sigmar and or cawz a civil war. So we think he is cultist, mabe of corn wich is bad cuz he has the scull. Wichhunters wer gonna bee putt on trile fore been kultis, and if they giltee fownd, sigmar dun in Middenhime, possbull civil war follo. So we sa we find proof they not giltee. Preest tel us serch this pub wer won of them fownd a seekrit tempull of kaos under in seller.
We go to pub, butt cant get in to seller. Tender sa no, and barr ful of peepull, citi gards and merks. We tri disstrack tender, but he cach me sneekin bi and tri too bash mi hed with a clubb! I wuz skared so I got mi sord owt and stabed the tender too deth. Then al hek brok loos, and evvrbuddy wuz fiting. Konrad shot peepull, volkrad majiked peepull, olfrad hakked peepull, and I arroed peepull. I think even dorf kilt sumbuddy. Sumhow we won even tho we wuz way owtnummered, tho we got hert and konrad got nokked owt. Too merks gav up and now we hav to figger wat too do with them. The hummins sa I ternd a barr fite into a blud bath bi draring mi sord, butt wat waz I sposed too do? He tride to bash mi hed in! I dont unnerstan hummins and ther rulz sumtims. Wy is a fite in a barr difernt then a fite othir plases? In Loren we dont draw wepins on eech other butt if yu do, yu ar liklee too get kilt.

Who I'm Worshipping

To answer this question for Ulfred, I need to give a little background, so bear with me.

It is my (Nigel's, not Ulfred's) belief that man is made in the image of God, and God is a creator. When we create imaginary worlds, we can only do so because we are of this image (J.R.R. Tolkien would tell you the same). As such, while I do believe that a person can imagine a world in which they don't see Jesus Christ, I don't believe that he is really absent from any world anyone imagines. If I didn't believe this, I would have no reason to play RPGs.

You no doubt believe differently, but that is all by the way as far as Ulfred is concerned. He worships Jesus Christ. He worships Jesus because only in Jesus can he find someone who accounts for both the love in the world (it is His love), and the pain in the world (it is our choice, but He chose to suffer it with us on the cross). Ulfred's knowledge of the deeper questions of theology is a little hard to measure, since I am under the impression that there is no such thing as a Bible in Warhammerland, but prayer and the Holy Spirit have done well for those with no other recourse before.

He does not openly dislike other deities, because they are no competition for Jesus in terms of power. He would obviously not want to support a diety who plotted evil.

If this is not sufficient to earn me the XP mentioned, I would be glad to expand upon it, although I acknowledge that it doesn't give much of a handle for the GM as far as plot, as Ulfred wouldn't fall for a GM created "Jesus", knowing the voice of the Real Thing.

I haven't brought this stuff up before, because I didn't think you guys cared about it, but XP are XP, and you did ask.

Free Beer

Now that I have your attention, remember no Warhammer next week. Shawn and I will be attending the Fun, Sun, and Vomiting LARP in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. I've saved a lot of XP to pump up my Alchohol Tolerance Stat.

Of course, you are all free to indulge in another activity that gaming night, subject to the laws of your state.

Attention

Shawn's wedding has caused him to have to bail for Wednesday. Matt says he will not run. However, Y'all can get together to play other things, as usual.