Sunday, June 26, 2005

Trauma's Log!

Excerpted from Trauma's Mission Journal -
Why is Mason on this mission?
That's been the question on my mind the entire time. I wanted a chance to get to know him a bit more before continuing on in a group with him. He can be a pompous jerk at times and he really doesn't seem to want to see my point of view very well, but he does at least pay lip service to moral issues. I just don't understand why it's so hard for him to see things the way I do. He seems like one of those smart guys who can't see the obvious. I need to review what I've learned about this guy from what's happened so I'll try a recap of events here in my log to set my mind straight about him.
I had decided to start my program of reforming supervillains with Nick-O'Dumbass first. I knew what his main problem was and how to go about fixing it (assuming that my theory about villainous behavior being just symptomatic of a root disorder is correct). Also, he needed immediate help and couldn't get it done himself or from any other willing outside agent. Lastly, he's already in jail with Canadian babysitters to watch over his rehab to see if he's faking it all or not. His need is severe so the potential chance for major behavioral change is high. If I can succeed with him, I can continue with others like Price, the mutant teens, the 40 Knights and even maybe BlkD.
So I got Durante and Mason to lead me to some gold-plated lady who seemed to know what was up with this whole thing. She wanted to share the cure with numbnuts (still suspicious). She gave us a magic grocery list of stuff to find and give to her. Mason said we should talk to some Toad guy about it and he blew us off because someone cursed him. Said we needed to go to Scotland and talk to his uncle about lifting the curse before he'd give us the answers. Sounded kinda childish and stupid, but I guess so is cursing someone if you don't like him.
In Scotland, Mason ups and deflates out tire without telling me what he's doing. Then we had to walk a few miles to get to the guy's house. I coulda punctured the tire easily, but he just isn't the kinda guy to make a joint plan. Also, he took the battery out of Durante's phone (I dunno why). I'll get back to that point later. Once we got there, we met the kid who's the uncle of the Toad. He challenged Durante to a wizard duel-deal (also kinda childish). Mason offered us up to be killed if Durante lost. Fortunately, our guy won. So he said he'd meet us in LA later. English food was awful.
We were in some Dutch place where I got lost. But I guess Durante and Mason made a deal with some Facet-guy to help us find the Triad. These guys were about to rob a casino in Monaco. So we took a train there and got into position. French food was terrible, too. I just figured out what the Triad was up to when I saw them. I called Durante's cell for back-up, but his phone had no battery. So I had to fight all three of them myself. I did ok for a little while, but at least I managed to make enough noise that Durante and Mason showed up to finish them off after I went down. We took their magic jewels outta their skin (which is where their powers came from, I think) and turned 'em over to some French cops for a reward.
Facet met us at the train station when we were leaving. Mason walked off (I thought to find cover) and I signalled to Durante to help me take him out. But that didn't happen. Facet punched me in the nose and Mason gave him some cruddy-looking copy of our magic jewels and Durante whammied his brain into thinking it was the real thing. When we got off the train in Rome, there he was again. Durante and I took him down, finally and turned him over to an Italian nuthouse for another reward. When we got back to the states, we met Adrian - the ancient adolescent and he went with us to talk to the Toad.
I'd like to write what happened there, but Mason opened his mouth again. Adrian was talking about how he got to LA ahead of us and offered to send me to China. I said "no, thanks" and Mason played the fool. So, I walked around the Great Wall for awhile, tried to find people who spoke English, stopped a crazy lady from killing a chicken and selling it to me, bought some silk PJs and tried to convince some old dude not to carry me on his back. So, after awhile - trying to arrange a flight back to the states wasn't happening -1 just poofed into some sewer with an old Japanese guy living in it.
Ebonfire was the guy there who said he'd help us hunt a vampire. I asked him about the possibility of redemption for them, but he seemed to think we were after the ones beyond help. Also, a lady talked to us about her Dad having defeated the magic thing we were after once. Mason got a book about it. So we walked out of the sewer (ruined my new pjs) and we met some creepy, dead German opera dude -Toastenguy or whatever. He said he'd help us kill the demon-thing. He met back up with us in Delhi, India. I told Mason I didn't wanna eat snakes and he fed some to me anyway.
On the Pakistani border, we found a cave with a bunch of thugee fanatics living in it. Some cyclone-guy tried knifing us all a bunch of times. Toastenguy ripped his face off and scared the thugees to death. I tried to get him to stop that, but very little success. We killed the monster guy, got its blood and turned the spinning guy over to the Indian cops to stop the nuclear war that was about to erupt because of all the murders these guys were doing to incite conflict between the two powers.
We had to get to London to finish of the demon-deal but got delayed in Cairo by a sandstorm. At London's Tower Bridge we found the moss that held the soul of the jitterbug-demon(sp) which we'd forced him to tell us about. I fought a tiger-guy and the demon showed up to stop us with a new load of fanatics. Toastenguy and mason handled them while Durante helped me with the tiger-guy. Durante almost got killed and I knocked the thing into the river. We killed the demon and saved the bridge from the terrorists and got medals.
Now that we have all the stuff (except the vampire ashes we need to get now), we need to find out if the golden girl is on the up-and-up and save the alchemy asshole. Then we'll see if he can do anything to help people and if Mason can understand why we went through all this. Even though he's been a big load of trouble on this mission, he has been useful. I just wonder if he understands my purpose in life and the importance of turning villains back over toward our side. I can't seem to get him to act like a team player, yet. If I can make him understand what I'm about, then I think the rest of the hero community can get behind what I'm doing, too.

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